Right now I have no idea how to word this so this post might not make much sense to anybody but me.
While enrolling for my college course last week, when asked about uniform I opted for the female salon uniform and explained to the tutor that I’m currently going through transition. Obviously, I know I chose the right uniform for who I am, I didn’t choose the right uniform for where I’m at with my transition though.
My posts probably make it seem like I’m further into the “social” part of my transition than I actually am, in reality, I’m still having a hard time pushing myself further INTO my comfort zone because of my concerns about how other people will react and the effect that’ll have on my daughter. I don’t wear as much make up on a day to day basis as I do in the pictures I’ve posted, I don’t always look as feminine as some of them may show.
I don’t want to wear the male uniform, not at all.. I don’t own male clothes and haven’t owned male clothes for over 12 months now aside from a t-shirt or two that I sleep in. Male hairstyler/barber uniforms are tailored to the male figure, bringing attention to the masculine features, I don’t want that.
I’m worried about the reaction others will have on the course if I wear the female tailored uniform, I’m also worried that it’ll impact my daughter or the contact I have with my daughter somehow.
I don’t own male clothes but I dress and look very androgynous for the most part so I don’t really bring attention to myself, I think because of where I’m at right now with my transition, the female tailored uniform would, but it would also be a huge step in the right direction.
My anxiety is telling me to run away from the situation altogether but I’m not gonna do that this time, I know I made the right choice when choosing uniform – that doesn’t stop me from worrying about it though.